


Never Smile Again

by Brumeier



Series: Bite Sized Fic 2020 [49]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe - 1940s, Emotional Hurt, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Major Character Injury, Pilots, Prompt Fill, World War II
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:48:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25095622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brumeier/pseuds/Brumeier
Summary: LJ Comment Fic for 100 Words on the 1940s prompt:any, any, I'll never smile again/Until I smile at you (Frank Sinatra- "I'll Never Smile Again")In which John gets to leave the war and go home, which is the last place he wants to be.
Relationships: John Sheppard/Nancy Sheppard, Lyle Holland/John Sheppard
Series: Bite Sized Fic 2020 [49]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1610332
Comments: 8
Kudos: 16
Collections: Bite Sized Bits of Fic from 2020





	Never Smile Again

John was uncomfortable, even with the heavy dose of morphine that was moving through his veins. There was pain, muffled under the drugs, and John was a little afraid of it, afraid what would happen if the meds wore off.

“Hey, flyboy.”

There was the scrape of a chair across the floor and then a hand on John’s arm. It took a lot of effort to turn his head, but the smile was easy and genuine.

“Hey. Dutch.”

“Look at you, laying around like a penguin.”

“I’ll be up before you know it,” John said.

He and Dutch had come over together. They were best friends. More than, really, though they had to keep that on the Q.T. Funny that John had to come to a warzone to find the one person that made him happy. The world had turned on its head.

“You sure will,” Dutch said, and he had a funny look on his face. “But it won’t be here.”

John struggled to clear the cotton out of his head. “What?”

“You’re on the home front express, Shep.”

That couldn’t be right. It was just a little shrapnel, courtesy of a dogfight his last mission. He’d brought his boys and the B-52 back to base. He could still fly.

John struggled to sit up, and then lost his breath when a sharp pain speared through his side. Dutch scowled and pushed him gently back on the bed.

“Knock that off before you tear yourself back open.” Dutch arranged the blanket to hide that he was holding John’s hand. “You’re lucky to be alive.”

John didn’t feel lucky, if it meant going home. His wife Nancy waited there, diligently keeping the home fires burning while she helped the Red Cross and participated in rubber drives and wrote John a letter a week, without fail.

Dear, sweet Nancy, who could never understand who John really was.

“I can’t go,” John insisted. “I’m your good luck charm, remember?” 

Dutch had dubbed him that early on, when John and his crew survived mission after mission, regardless of the odds stacked against them. Even with engine failure. Even with John torn up by shrapnel.

“I’ll be okay,” Dutch said, and he smiled a sad smile. “So will you. That’s what really matters.”

He didn’t make any promises, and John knew better than to ask.

It wasn’t much of a goodbye, but it was the only one they got to have. Dutch had a mission to fly, and John had to catch the next transport bound for the States.

Being home was strange. Being home with Nancy was stranger still, and she didn’t seem to know what to do with him beyond caring for his wounds and making sure he ate.

“You’re not the same,” she said once, after she’d had a little too much to drink. “You don’t smile anymore.”

The day the letter came, sent on by one of Dutch’s friends at his dying request, John felt like he’d never smile again.

**Author's Note:**

>  **AN:** I really couldn't help bringing the angst here. Poor John. Living a lie, and losing the person he truly loved. These wartime fics are really bringing out the worst in me. ::shrugs::
> 
> Dutch calls John a penguin. The internet tells me this was slang for an Air Force service member who doesn't fly.


End file.
